Whole Heart: #2 Perceptions pt1... Here it come's...bring on the tears! Spooky scary.

Man this book is good.  I'm not even PMSing! I had to put it down because I started crying.  NO NO....it's ok...good tears.  I started the first chapter.....and his story (stories can be good for teaching a lesson I am learning) seemed to be going off on a path about something other than horsemanship.....but I was rivited.

Just before I started to read the chapter, after reading the preface...I was thinking about my session today with Cha'cote....as if pony palouza wasn't enough....the preface story got me thinking a bit, about why I keep getting direct line about the trailer, no matter how hard I try not to.  I mean, it wasn't all bad...and it ended on a good note.....zone 5 nearly against the trailer....but that was after I beat my self up for the hour I had just spent with him......somehow making the 'not about the trailer...ALL about the trailer"

His preface helped me to come up with the all too often, hush hush, not talked about EGO.
Even though I would not consider myself egotistical, I guess, in the end, I really am.  Not about my success's, rather my failures.  I stood smoking a cigarette, thinking more coherently than I have in a while, what if someone gave me permission to fail?  What if?? someone actually said to me...."Just because you are level 4 doesn't mean when you fail, we will strip your success right out from under you.  You don't have to prove to me that you are level 4 by gettin this horse in the trailer.....I can see that you are."

What if?

So I came back in, and cracked open the book.  Holy mother of all that is creepy....do you know that is what the first chapter is ALL about!?!  Basically, in this chapter....that is what he said to me!!!!

Of course he didn't write...."Michelle...it's ok if you dont get this mustang in the trailer...no one will think less of you".....but you get the gist.

He tells a story of when he was a kid, how a mistake of dialing a phone number just one number off, ended up so good, he actually grew up a little by whom answered the phone.

Moral of the chapter so far....mistakes are ok...and can lead to good things.

Wo why am I crying?

It is funny how we have such an emotional attachment to words.  How one word can lift you up, tear you down, or stike you so deep to your core that you can't even breathe.  That word for me was 'paralyze'.

He spoke of mistakes being opportunity for growth and goes on to say

"The problem is, fo rsome, just the simple thought of making a mistake can be enough to paralyze them into a state of inactivity and perpetual fear of the unknown"....MICHELLE

So, if anyone has read the header on my home page.....I state how my fear of failure has been.....paralyzing.

How on earth, could this seemingly "just a horseman" be so wise?

I don't know, but I am ready to pick up the book and continue reading........as it seems he wrote this book just for me....so I best get to reading it.

Savvy On
Michelle

Book: Whole Heart, Whole Horse by Mark Rashid