What is a ‘principle’ and how does it affect our outcome and ultimate success?

Principle:

1-A fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system or belief or behavior or a chain of reasoning used as a rule to govern one’s behavior.



Many like to think that a technique is what guides us on this journey, or makes what we do ‘natural’ but it is not. Techniques are just a facilitator of our principles to help us achieve our goals. In the parelli system, those techniques and principles were chosen for us, but they are not unique to parelli. Having principles, adhered to and revered as absolute truths, is what lets us know if you are on the right track. Too often, students (of any method) get far to hung up on ‘perfection’ of a task or technique and the principles get lost in the fog. And I often wonder why. This is as common place at the highest of levels as it is at the lowest of levels. The FEI is one of the most notable to let the mebers of their group completely ignore the ‘principles’ and now Dressage is so far away from where it started…yet their own rules never changed……and to make up for it, our perception and definition of the ‘principles’ has become so distorted, we cannot even recognize them when we see them….Such as the principle of having ‘the poll as the highest point’…..it is a rare few individuals who can even recognize what it looks like. Most people ‘think’ they have it, and they could not be farther than the truth.

I have been studying French Classical Dressage lately, and the more I get into it, the clearer the connection between Dressage and NH becomes, most specifically Baucherism….though one does NOT automatically equal the other. (Baucherism is a method discovered and developed by Francois Baucher in the mid 1800’s after he studied François Robichon de La Guérinière’s work from the early 1700’s) In all systems, we usually have a relatively lengthy list of ‘principles’….but when you get to the heart of the matter there are usually only a select few that are highly regarded…and usually only one, maybe two, that are thought of as the “holy grail”…..that usually, if adhered to at all times, it will keep you out of trouble and make your road to success a short one. And usually you can say this about them,

“It matters not what technique you use, what style you ride, so long as you do nothing to lose (principle) and do everything to gain (principle)….you will always be on the road to success”

So I thought I would make a list of principles for myself, since I have been reminded by a book I am reading, just what MY holy grail is, and my lack of adherence has caused me great struggles in my pursuit of my own perfection. Obviously the ‘goal’ is improvement in tangible skills, but really those skills are a facilitator to a higher level of conceptuality and philosophical understanding of the principles….which then garner even greater skills…and so on and so on, repeating the cycle in a never ending circle of self improvement. There is a rule that states, if something applies in every situation than it is a RULE, if it does not, then it is a TOOL.

So here is my list of principles that state I can do anything I want so long as I have, create or do not destroy the following….

1. Relaxation (both physical AND mental/emotional) Front to Back

2. The relationship comes first

3. Never use force, be it physical or mental~ includes: Don’t act like a predator, don’t be direct line, Patience BEFORE justice(long phase one)

4. Lightness and Feel~ includes: Release of the aids, no micro management, Timing the aids at the moment when the horse can optimally comply

5. Hands w/out legs, Legs w/out hands

6. Poll the highest point (except when stretching down) & Nose in-front of the vertical, Back not Hollow

7. Keep the rhythm pure

8. Straightness

Principles I used to use that I no longer use, use sparingly, or only use in a safety situation, and why.

1. “The attitude of justice is effective.” It may be effective but it can be harmful physically if misunderstood and also because it can destroy relaxation, relationship, and rhythm and often eventually involves force.

2. “Immobile Neutral on a circle.” Too much mayhem goes on that is not seen by way of not watching the horse, and it pulls me away from many of the above principles that are FAR more important to me.

For now I think that is about it. Should I come across any more I will update this.

I think if more people put relaxation at the top of their list, they would avert many problems. It needs to be the first thing you get, such as when you first approach your horse, do not do things in that approach that cause him to become tense, as you begin your session, again, do not CAUSE tension…..then your first goal is to reduce and remove what ever tension he had there to begin with. Then you can move on to the days lesson, again not CAUSING tension with any of your requests. Should your request be met with tension….stop…find out what caused it and fix it before moving on. Was he not prepared for your request, was it too demanding due to his level of skill and understanding, did you ask too abruptly or strongly, did you ask at a moment he could not possibly respond correctly, was he distracted….etc….

Relaxation does not mean dead btw. It doesn’t mean create a mindless plug. He should still be alert, sensitive and responsive…..but FREE from tension, both physical and mental.

So these are my thoughts on this rainy day

Savvy On

Michelle

DVD Review: *** Riz Ilyas ~ Piaffe Revealed

My most in-depth review!  Wow.....WOW.....I have been chomping at the bit to get my hands on this dvd set.  Normally I will write a seperate review on each volume of a set as I recieve/view them...but since this has been 'unavailable' for rental since the nano second they got it in stock.....I didn't want to share my enthusiasm after getting Vol 1....until I got my own grubby mits on Vol 2.....basically being selfish and stingy, not wanting to alert ANYone else to beat me to it.  A while back I was involved in several online discussions regarding not only the appropriateness of teaching ANY horse of ANY level the Piaffe, but also, the reality of whether or not ANY one could actually do it...even a novice....as the author claims.....then add to that.....IF his style of Piaffe was even 'correct' be it classical or modern, or if it is just a trick for backyard horse enthusiasts.  I can assure you, there is quite a debate over these dvd's.....in every subject known to horsemanship.  You name it...someone is talking about it.  Anyways, when the attacks started.....I defended him....not because I know him or had seen the dvd's (at the time) for my self....but because no  one HAD seen them, nor were any of the discussion participants educated enough to judge a 'correct' piaffe....much less had they themselves ever ridden dressage....bascially.....my stand point was this.....do your research before you judge something.  If you havn't seen the dvd....how on earth can you judge if is good bad or indifferent?  So....I opened my big mouth....and said I would get the dvd's, review them as I do all my dvd reviews.....BUT.......ALSO.....obligated myself to test it out on my own horses  (something I wanted to do anyways) and share my progress as I go along.....and if possible.....get a real novice to join me in my experiment.  For all intents and purposes....as far as dressage goes....I would consider myself a novice.  Others may not....but I do.  Why?  Because:

 #1~Theory~In all my study, in the years gone by, as a scholar, I fall quite short to many many people who have had the resources to study far more intensivly than have.  Though my desire and passion is there, my book worming is just a drop in the bucket compared to the serious intellectual Classical Dressage student.

#2~Expert Mentorship~In all my years, basically I did it alone.  I had few, if any, live mentors to study under.  Most that I found in my area were either not classical or too expensive for my puny budget.  But I did have one that was a bit 'out there' as a human being....but he taught me alot in the few lessons I could afford w him.  Luckily he boarded his horses where I did...and I was able to watch many lessons w other students and watch him ride his own horses and he was gracious enough to answer my MANY questions I grilled him with.  Which had led me to the discovery that many of the great riders are actually quite obscure, and NEVER recieved nor attempted to recieve a gold medal or a blue ribbon of any kind.

#3~Glass Ceiling: I only made it into L3 before my mare foudnered and was retired.  Though I do pride myself on the fact that as a backyard Classical dressage enthusiast, with minimal funds and a $500 TB mare....I made it that far....CORRECTLY...on my own.  Pat Pat Toot Toot......(that's me patting my back and tooting my horn)

#4~Reality Check:  I am now a middle aged woman, ouit of shape and over weight who has not ridden but a handful of times in the last 4 years due to injuries from a car accident....and my horse is a 14yo green rescue TB mare with the equivelent training of 30 "traditional" days under saddle and a "tying up" issue (medical condition...google it).....AND....I don't have an arena....My reality SUCKS....go figure! 

Based on these three things alone, I don't think I could ever consider myself anything other than a novice....in dressage land...though I am hardly a novice horseman....far from it in-fact.  I decided to create a new blog, for the sole purpose of tracking my progress in the experiment to see if the claims could be true.....that anyone could teach any horse to do piaffe.

Click here to follow the experiment.

So anyways, On to the long awaited reviews

Piaffe Revealed ****

Disk 1 ~ Classroom Session ~ Theory and Equiptment
Riz is a great speaker, charismatic and down to earth.  He is humble, not flamboyant and REAL.  He is a real student of the horse, and yet he is not arrogant about his knowlege.  Watching the dvd was like talking to a good friend.  He used common sense language and was never boring.  He went over the body points and how a horse USUALLY reacts when touched there.  He went over useful equiptment, and this was quite extensive in the 'whip/guider' department..  He of course covered the principles, uses and mis-uses of training the Piaffe..  He points out that the Piaffe is NOT the 'end' of the means, rather the 'means' to the end.  And he is not alone in this practice. 

It is a philosphy that I have seen from several French Classical trainers, and have seen them use the Piaffe for many good reasons, quite early on in a horses career.  It is a falacy that only special people and special horses get to do the Piaffe when they are good enough to think about going to the olympics.  IF we remember that Dressage = Training.....and ALL the school movements are excersizes to produce a well rounded and trained horse.....and that the goal....the "END" if you will, is a horse that is light, relaxed, responsive, balanced and obedient......NOT.....Piaffe.....then we will better be able to see the Piaffe in the same light as a 20 meter circle and a 'working trot'......nothing more than an excersize.....Piaffe is the 'MEANS' to the 'END'.....rather than being the 'END' itself.

Unfortunately there was a few areas of the dvd with sound quality issues.  The rest was spot on.  However I discovered the sound issues are not present when the dvd is played on my computer, only when played on my tv with my dvd player.  (but I have never had sound issues w other dvds) Remember that vol 1 is not the 'how to'...it is the pre-requisite understanding needed before the "how to".  I just wish I didn't have to wait now for vol 2.  So for now...this is where I will go to draft mode....


Disk 2 ~ The Arena Session ~ principle into practice

This dvd is the 'how to' and it is quite thorough.  He has deconstructed all the step to train the piaffe and made each step very clear.  It covers 2 pre-requisite exercises that must be in place before you begin the actual steps to start training the piaffe. Those perquisites should be a no-brainer for parelli students because they are similar to tasks in L2 online, friendly and stick to me, though it needs to be done this very specific way so it translates later on when you get to the part where you put it all together. The next two exercises, the leg lifts and goat stance should also be relatively easy for a parelli student due to ones understanding of the porcupine and driving games, though it might require L3+ savvy.  Then you get to the part where you begin to put it all together, and this is where you will truly discover if a 'novice' has what it takes to teach piaffe.  I believe that parelli students will fare better than the average novice, even though he does explain everything from how to apply the pressure, how to release and how to reward.  Feel and timing are needed and those are two things that cannot be bought.  Only father time and mother experience can help you in that department.  He then moves on to doing the piaffe in long lines once piaffe is relatively understood and if you have made it to this point, it is yet another cross road to separate the savvy from the un-savvy.  Parelli Level 4 students have yet another leg up as the driving game from zone 5 is already being established.  I will say, long lining is a bit of an art all to it self, and as he states, it needs to be confirmed prior to doing it with piaffe....for obvious reasons. He then goes into the pillars, though he advises extreme caution here and reminds every one that the pillars are NOT mandatory, but he does go over how to do it safely and sanely should it be something you want to do.  After that, he begins the piaffe under saddle, once piaffe is well established in hand and in long lines.

Now that I have described what he covers in the dvd, let me talk a teeny bit about the quality of his work.  I don't think that any 'natural' person will have any contradictions to what he does or how he does it.  He is a good horseman, kind and talented, and it is all done quite naturally.  Again he is a good speaker, down to earth, no and I sincerely mean NO ego in this man what so ever, it is easy to listen to him talk without my mind drifting or being annoyed. The quality of the organization of the material covered is very good....some minor sound quality issues, though as I stated before, playing it on my computer solved that.  The whole thing is simple in design and concept, yet just because something is simple, doesn't mean it is easy.  When it comes to the 'quality' of piaffe produced, I would have to say it is closer to classical principle than many if not most modern competitive piaffe's.  So for all those dressage queens out there, as a philosophical argument here, I have to say, if you are going to do something 'wrong' anyways (what you will do if you follow many modern riders) why not check this dvd out?  He holds classical principles to a higher and more correct standard, and for the cost of just one lesson with gold medalist, you can get the dvd, and in the end maybe learn more about it than you could in a lifetime of lessons.  Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying lessons are useless, cuz I'm not.  Just saying, I don't think the subject of piaffe as a whole, has been covered before like this.  So if you want to know more about it, this is probably as close to a one stop shop as you are ever gonna get.  The poll is high, nose in-front of the vertical, and the horses are using  their hind ends....that is more than many GP riders can do....even though they SAY they are doing it, they are not.

When it comes to applying very correct classical principles, if you know 'what' they are.....and feel they may be lacking or a bit substandard in this dvd, let me say that as long as you know what they are, you should have no problem adhering to them with this method.....regardless if your classical back ground is in French or German.  I did notice with one horse he could have lifted a bit better from the base of his neck over his topline, but I think it had a tad bit to do with his conformation.  Again, there is NO reason, if you know the classical principles, that you can't tailor this system to your desires.  It is a great road map and skeleton.

Now for the whole 'even a novice can do this'....I kinda went over this a bit, but want to delve just a hair deeper on this.  I "REALLY" think this is going to be based on ones definition of 'novice'....which just may be a highly subjective term.  I stated why I would consider MYself a novice, and to ME it is not the same as a begginer, rather a step above it.  Though websters dictionary, and most people first thought, IS infact....."beginner".  So the more I thought about this, I asked my self....what are the stages of horsemanship?....and where do "I" fall on the scale? So for arguments sake here....lets go with this scale for a better understanding of what I think you might need to be in order to actually do this.

Beginner:  I just got here, where do I start
Novice:  Survived the beginning and ready to be serious
Intermediate:  I know my way around pretty good with little help
Experienced:  I can take care of me and mine without putting much thought into it, it's a habit
Apprentice:  Pretty good now, and learning from a master to teach beginners
Journeyman:  I'm really good now and can teach even the experienced
Master:  An artist

So based on this scale, I am not a novice, somewhere between Apprentice and Journeyman category, but not in the dressage department.  So, do I think a 'novice' could do it?....anything is possible....though I would have to see it for myself to believe it.  I don't know his definition, but the dvd is laid out in simple steps, and is simple enough in theory that anyone can understand it......execution of it is a whole 'nuther story though....isn't it?

I would have liked to see a trouble shooting section with maybe a horse that had not already been taught ANY thing about any of the piaffe exercises.  Though each of the horses he did use, did not do things perfectly, so there were plenty of times he was able to show things that might go wrong and how to correct it, I would have loved to see what the process of day 1 leg lifts looked like.  He did talk about safety ALOT so that is good.

So why only 3 stars?  Well, simply because this is a very specialized dvd, if you have no desire to do piaffe, well then it's not a must see.  But if you DO want to do piaffe....I give it 5 stars because you just aren't gonna find a dvd like this anywhere else.....at least I havn't seen it yet....but I am still looking!

Click here for more info about Riz Ilyas

Click Here to Follow my Piaffe Journey
Savvy On
Michelle

A day in the mind of "ME"

While I am getting ready to embark on my next super cool horsemanship adventure, (sorry gotta keep y’all in suspense for a while about it) I am about to (hopefully successfully) learn something really cool….a childhood dream of mine. And the very thought of actually learning it….has caused me to be a bit nostalgic. And in doing so I am pondering many things and it has come to my attention that I am not like everyone else. Not that I didn’t know that already, or haven’t had these thoughts before, but really….I’m a gal that walks to the beat of my own drum. Turns out, I really AM horse crazy. Not like the “normal” horse crazy gal, rather quite obsessed. Sometimes it makes me wonder if I am bi-polar or something. I have in the past referred to myself as dedicated, passionate, and immersed…..but it seems as I have gotten older, the friends to whom I used to categorize my self with, have grown out of it, but somehow I haven’t. According to the thesaurus, there are other words I could use that just might be more fitting….such as self absorbed, fanatic and insane. I can’t really say why I am this way, I only know that I am, and have been since the day I was born.

It all started when I was 2 years old and went to a flea market with my mother. Seems strange but I actually remember this event. How many people can say they have a vivid memory from when they were a toddler? Few, I suppose. But there I was, in a dimly lit warehouse, looking up at a table with some kids toys, and saw the most beautiful sight to ever behold….a Breyer horse. Not one, but two. I have no recollection of how I may have communicated to my mother that I had to have them, but I remember paying a quarter for them and my mom let me hand the money over. One was a grey appaloosa with his tail missing and ears sheared off, the other a black horse with a white mane and tail and the western saddle and bridle were part of the mold.

He had a gold chain for reins and some pretty serious white scuff marks over his whole body. They were the first of many to come and the catalyst to a life long obsession. I can’t remember what happened to the black horse, other than I have not seen him since I was a small child, but I still have the appy, though one of his legs has been in a drawer for years, waiting for me to unpack its counter part and superglue them back together. That leg has been in the kitchen junk drawer of the last 3 houses I have lived in, and I just can’t seem to have both the leg and the horse in my hands at the same time. My husband asks me from time to time to remind him of why I still have it. My only reply is that “It is a historical artifact to a very important cosmic event…..HELLO???....do you even KNOW me at ALL??”

Shortly after I acquired my treasures, I saw a real horse up close and personal…..and it has been down hill for my parents, friends and loved ones from that day forward. My mom, single at the time, could not afford to buy me a real horse, nor even pay for lessons….so the very next summer, my great grandparents drove me 400 miles to visit my aunt who had an Arabian ranch. Little did they know they would repeat the same pilgrimage each summer for the next 6 years, until they got too old and paid to fly me down there the following 3 years.

By that point I had gotten a paper route at age 10 to pay for riding lessons, and the summer before I turned 13, was the last to be spent at her ranch. I had seen the alternate Olympics in 1980 and decided to ride English from then on, and also aspired to become “Rookie of the Year” in show jumping. And of course I dreamed of going to the Olympics, like many other young girls do.

About the same time, the movie ‘The Black Stallion” came out in the theater….and thus….another life long dream of mine was sparked….. To have a wild horse, befriend him like no other human could and ride bareback and bridle-less on the beach…..the same dream of every other girl my age on the planet. So I think it really is no shock that so many middle aged women, like myself, who were the at the same impressionable age as me, when Walter Farley brought “The Black” to life on the big screen…..are hung up on horses.

I however would be obsessed. Driven to the point of insanity. With an insatiable appetite to learn all that I can and an inability to talk about anything else. I have spent 40 of the last 42 years completely and hopelessly blinded by horses. I eat, sleep and breath horses. Last year on a visit with a long distance friend, I cried on her shoulder about how much I missed her and how lonely I was. I needed a horse friend to hang out with, some one to enjoy this with and for her to hurry up and move back home. We talked about ‘me’ and what on earth could possibly be wrong with me. Of course the conclusion was that I was deeply passionate in a way no one else could understand or keep up with….kind of a useless bit of trivia really….as it was an explanation to my problem, it did not solve the problem in the least. She is as close as I guess a friend could be, to ‘keep up’ with me, and it has been torture living without her all these years. Thankfully, she is coming home in a few short months….just in time for the good weather.



I often think back to that little girl, in her room drifting off to sleep, dreaming of horses. Horse pictures plastered all over her wall, doodles of horses on all her school books. Driving with her mom thru the country side, fantasizing about galloping alongside the car on a horse. During recess pretending to be a horse, cantering thru the school yard, whinnying and snorting and being made fun of, while other girls were already worrying about make up and what to wear. She dreamed of black stallions and flaxen maned horses……hoping that someday, she could have a horse of her own. I wish I could speak to that little girl and whisper in her ear as she drifts off to sleep, not to worry, someday you will own a black horse and ride it bridle-less. Some day you will befriend a wild horse with a flaxen mane and he will trust you like he trusts no other human. Someday you will know way more about horses than you could ever possibly imagine. Close your eyes sweet heart and dream to your hearts content, not all of your dreams will come true….but this one that you dream tonight WILL come true, and some day you will have more horses than you know what to do with. Someday your life with horses will be better than you could ever hope to dream. Close your eyes now sweet heart, you only have to wait a little while longer.

Deep in my heart, I know that if the little girl could visit me now, she would love to slap the ever loving tar out of me and tell me...

Stop whining about what you don’t have, what you can’t do or what you have lost with age. Look out your back window, look all around you. You are not an OLD woman YET. Can’t you see you are living my dream? So… Live it …..PLEASE, for me. Please don’t let my dream die because it is getting too hard for you…you wimp. Who cares if your crazy, insane, or single minded……so am I. You are me, so keep living our dream please.

So with that said, off I go on this next leg of the journey.

Savvy On

Michelle

Just have to share something someone said to me today

Everything in life is temporary.  We often can't see beyond our current set of circumstances to see...that this too, is just temporary.  We humans live in that moment, that's why misery seems to last for ever. 

This too shall pass
Savvy On
Michelle

French Dressage vs German Dressage vs Natural Horsemanship….deeper insight.

Hmmm, some of the ‘french classical dressage’ is sinking in as I read and learn more about it. I find it highly interesting that my initial suspicions that the new age cowboy, ie: the ‘natural horsemen’ is infact doing a version of the French classical training. With German classical dressage, it is mostly about precision, where you are in control of every move the horse makes. It is about accuracy and power and grace. I would not define it as micro management as of yet. At least not when done right. Mainly because having done it for so long, I know full well that you can have an intimate relationship, where you do control every move, while still giving the horse responsibilities to uphold and giving him the freedom to uphold them, yet correcting him when he does not. So the german style books are very inviting for the novice rider, because just like the method of training the horse, the method of training the rider is just as precise and detailed. Because it is a cookbook of recipes, the novice will find the exact ‘how to’ they are looking for. But of course, it is the ‘how to’ ride GERMAN.

It seems that for the French however, their ‘method’ actually is a lack of strict guidelines. With it, it is more vague as in the ‘how to’ simply because it is about giving the horse the true freedom to express himself. As a rider, we need to stop waiting to be told what to do, and start ‘feeling’ the horse. We need to understand what and why we are asking the horse to do something before we ask him, and then when we do ask him, to get out of his way so he can do it…..and let HIM carry US. If he has difficulty or doesn’t understand, of course it is OUR responsibility to intervene and help him. Basically the essence of the French School is to FEEL our horse, not to follow some generic set of directions or to make or force it to happen, but to set it up to let it happen, then notice it and reward it when it does. Each horse is different and needs to be listened to as such. He needs to learn on his own, thru the various school movements how to balance himself, for we cannot teach it to him, just as our parents could not teach us how to balance as an infant so we could learn how to walk. But, that doesn’t leave us the rider with no responsibilities in the matter. We do need to be showing him the way towards balance and lightness, not throwing him to the wolves and leaving him to never truly discover it. Lest we not forget…..WE are the leaders, the tour guides, and we should always have our safety nets. Again, we guide the horse, and let the horse carry us.

So, it appears that in my new discovery (French Classical), Parelli does give us the tools to teach a horse on the ground, the ingredients we will need once in the saddle. Until recently, Parelli (and similar methods) did not much support the German Style, however I believe Linda’s new Game of Contact will. Because French is all about lightness, Pat’s style of riding is along those lines and the reason why I believe Linda had so much trouble ‘getting’ the game of contact all these years. Mainly because they (French and German or Pat and Linda) are quite a bit contradictory. Despite all that she learned from Pat and NH, she was seeking the holy grail of the German School. Something I myself discovered many moons ago, and thus, had issues with a few aspects of NH all along….because I saw the contradictions from the get go. Something in Linda’s brain finally ‘clicked’ and she ‘got it’. Personally, I don’t think it was much of a discovery on how to get contact, as much as a way to cause the horse himself to WANT to take the contact. The actual style of contact she is riding, is the same as it has always been. She is not the first to cause a horse to WANT to take the contact, but she may infact be the first to figure out a way to simplify teaching it and to teach it to many humans…..so that they too can cause ‘their’ horse to WANT to take the contact too. Something that honestly is not easy to find/understand in any kind of literature or other types of learning venues. The contradiction that I keep speaking of in NH is that the general desire is to have a horse give/move away from pressure.  Any and All pressure.....so.....when she was being told to 'keep the contact' she, based on the subconcious conditioning, was asking for and then allowing the horse to not move INTO the pressure.  To be honest, I know it is all that easy to teach a horse to do both, but I do know it can be done as I have done it myself.....but.....90% of the contact was just that.....contact.....and still far far far from French lightness.

So what I find so damn ironic, is that I have been waiting 10ys for Parelli to come up with the kind of stuff that did not contradict all the Classical German Dressage that I held true to my heart, something unlike the version of the cowboy who is describing what I know deep inside me to be French Classical Dressage in disguise, that which I rejected for all my dressage years and all my 10ys of NH……

And when Parelli finally DOES come out with the ‘game of contact’….here I am being drawn to French Classical Dressage like a moth to a flame, and seeing more and more what the Cowboy has to offer me…..at least in the “HOW” department…..I will still keep searching the Classical Masters for the “what” department….as I would like my horse to be more engaged and through than the cowboys desire. The cowboys, typically, will not uphold the holy principles of the classical masters….such as the poll being the highest point, not being behind the vertical….etc etc….because at the end of the day…..their goal is a good COW horse. But now more than ever, I firmly believe the reason my transition to French Classical is so easy is due mostly in part to Pat 7 games. Because once you know how to ask a horse to do “some”thing….you can ask him to do ‘any’thing. For this reason, Rose near instantly knew leg yield and shoulder in, and haunches in…..where it was a lifetime pursuit in my German days. Those things were the things I aspired to do….’one day’……and now they are things I can ask a green horse within the first few rides. They are not a mystery, and I can now use them exactly as they were intended to be used….as gymnastic exercises for EVERY horse, of EVERY level……not a movement of perfection for some higher level competition.



So if the German holy grail is ‘forward’ and the French holy grail is ‘lightness’, it stands to reason that there may in fact be some difficulty in the marriage of the two. I still need to see the ‘game of contact’ for myself, though as I have said in the past, I have a fairly good general idea from the mastery dvd’s. I think regardless many dressage riders would be astounded to know just how much Parelli could help them learn their dressage better, and now…..it will include both the French and the German style. But make no mistake about the fact that the things like rhythm, tempo, impulsion, straightness and collection, will still be up to you to study outside of parelli…….it is just that parelli teaches you how to ask your horse to do anything…..so if you know you need pure rhythm, even tempo and straitness…..while they don’t teach those things, none the less you will learn how to apply their method to any topic. Sky’s the limit…..only your lack of imagination hold you back….so what are you waiting for?

Savvy On

Michelle

Happy 300th Post! Celebrate with me!

Well....I did it....300 posts!  I can hardly believe I had THAT much to say....oh who are we kidding here.....I blabber on about everything don't I?  I had a nice ride with my friend today....short but sweet.  Nice open areas and Rose was a dream boat.  My horsemanship was spectacular today!  I got to use my old dressage reins I was talking about.....man that was so refreshing.  Honestly, I much prefer the weightless feeling of them compared to the rope reins.  It was crystal clear when I had made contact....and glaringly obvious when I had lost the contact.  Which for my finesse riding is exactly what I was looking for.  As for riding with them freestyle....just as good for that too.  And just look at how ravishingly gorgeous she looks in my Stubben Bridle.  Who couldn't love a face like that?  


So lets see, I started this blog over 2 n half years ago, inspired by the movie "Julie and Julia" I left the theater and came home with the intention of doing ALL the Parelli levels tasks, level 1-4......in a year.  Unlike the movie, I failed miserably.  Lots of things got in the way of my goal, but my journey took many unsuspecting turns and twists, and thus so did my blog.  I have reviewed close to 60 horse dvd's, but 8 or so are still in draft mode waiting for me to finish them.  Those dvd's alone have changed my life and journey in so many ways, as well as the books I am reading, that I cannot find the words sometimes to express it.  When I started my blog, I was still VERY paralyzed from my fears and still in a dreadful amount of pain from the car accident.  I was still going thru a pre ride ritual, that involved cigarettes and mediation, and then I still had fear issues while riding.  As of today, I am fear free, I just hop on and ride.  And I hope to get the cantering thing tackled this summer.  


Over the last few years, my relationship with Rose hit some really low LOWS.....and my relationship with Cha'cote hit some really high HIGHS.  I have saved the lives of quite a few horses and a few dogs too.  I have gained a few pounds, lost a few, and found them again....ugh.  Been thru hell and back in my personal life and survived.  I've lost some friends and made some new ones.  And generally am doing alright.  I got to conduct a huge social experiment, in where during a dark time for Parelli, the infamous Catwalk incident, I chose to take a drastically different "online" path than all of my friends, and opened up some wonderful dialog with parelli haters world wide. (click here) to read the thread, but I must tell you, it is long and pointless if you don't read the whole thing.  I just wanted to prove that there is a way to talk to people and a way not to talk to people.  That there doesn't have to be an "us" and a "them".  We don't have to be at war with people who don't do parelli or anyone for that matter, just because we are different. So, anonymously I started a thread under the aka screen name 'tongue~n~cheek', and posted an offer to people who don't do parelli, to ask legitimate non 'anti hate' questions about parelli....and i would honestly answer those questions with OUT cramming parelli down their throats or making them feel inferior for not doing parelli. In the end I think I answered over 200 questions and another 200 private messages.  It took me 5 long weeks of only 3-4 hrs of sleep a day to accomplish it.  It started off rough, but in the end, I made alot of friends world wide and not a one of them was a parelli person. Just goes to show, when you open your heart before your mouth, wonderful things can happen.  Linda Parelli herself read the thread and was impressed, and while she and I were talking about it, she mentioned that while Pat was reviewing my audition he remarked about me "you can see she has the savvy".  Speaking of auditions, during this blogging time I officially passed 5 auditions. Woo Hoo!  While it is not 'official' I am a L4 grad, and hope to someday make it official, though it is no longer at the top of the list of High Priority anymore.  Probably the best of all, is my new found interest in French Classical dressage because although it is vastly different to my German Classical dressage past, it is completely perfect for where I am in my life with my horsemanship, where the German is not so achievable right now.  But, after giving this thing a go during good weather in the upcoming months, I may never go back.  I have found 'me' again, after searching for years!  I learned some really good stuff with the Waterhole Rituals too.  And I am certainly looking at horsemanship with brand new eyes, and what I am finding is REALLY good stuff.  What more can I ask for?  It has been a great journey that has brought me right here, right where I guess I need to be.


Thanks to those that have followed along.  My little blog is just a few short visitors away from 12,ooo views.  Here's to looking forward to the next 300 posts.....Stay tuned as I am working on some good stuff regarding bitless dressage and keeping the pole the highest point, and also working on a page about different types of horsemanship and the masters we all look up too.  Don't forget to look around, there are over 100 video's plastered all over the place with both good and bad horsemanship to learn from.


Savvy On
Michelle

Dusted off my dressage gear.....YUK!

I am horrified to have to admit the condition I found my $300 gorgeous Stubben bridle in.....well the parts I have not been using for 8ys.  I bought this bridle for Rose and Tigerlily way back in the day and used it in it's whole....ONCE.  From there I was using a different bridle for Tigerlily's MOOSE head as this one was just too small, I sold Rose shortly after buying it, and with it's burgandy padding, while it looks smashingly FABULOUS on a near black horse...it looked lame on Snookie.  So for her and Lily I used horsemans rope reins with slobber straps, or rope reins with snaps (finesse reins).  Since I bought Rose back a few years later....by then I was only riding her in a halter and was mainly focusing on freestyle riding.  When I decided to start her in the bridle again a few months ago, I dug it out, but left the caveson and reins in the tack shed.....and apparently years ago let it get covered in dust and then tossed in a box with a myriad of other unused tack. 

I noticed quite immediately that when it comes to riding with contact, I do NOT like riding with rope reins.  I have very independant hands and do not like the weight in my hands.  To me it feels like it lies to me, like making me feel as though there is a couple ounces of contact, when in fact there is NONE.  I much prefer to get the glaringly obvious weightless feeling when we have lost the contact, and also prefer to have the wight of the contact only in my hands....not the weight of the reins.  It just muddles up everything for my brain.  When I want 2 ounces of contact.....4 ounces of rein kinda gets in the way.  So....I decided after a few rides now that I needed to go dig my coveted black web dressage reins out of the spider infested no mans land.....the dreaded shed.  And there I found with it....the caveson.....treated like some piece of insignificant crap leather.....covered in dust.  I did all this amidst cooking Cristmas dinner....as only a true horse crazy person can do.....my husband staring at me as took more care in the kitchen with my bridle than I did the whole meal.  LOL.....

THEN.....as if cleaning it wasn't good enough....the leather felt too stiff and it needed my special care....conditioning in the way only *I* can do.....by hand.  I have a wonderful beeswax conditioning salve that is quite expensive and I see no reason to waste any on a towel or sponge...so I massage it in with my bare hands....and yes....I did say 'massage'....like a shiatsu queen I carefully and thouroughly buttered up every nook n cranny.....and it is now so beautiful again.  It is hanging under my saddle like a prized trophy.  and in the open for viewing like the Mona Lisa.  I can't wait to try it on Rose again and see just how pretty she is in it, and just how light those reins are gonna be.

Classical Dressage day 4 ~ Video~

Well, last day of the 4 day weekend. I made good use of my time and rode 3 days in a row. Today we focused on jaw flexions (chewing the bit) and timing of aids. Rhythm suffered a bit, but, this had more to do with me knowing the camera was on me than anything else. It was good and flowing before i called the honey out of the drunken man-cave to do me a solid. My back was getting stiff too.....havn't spent this much time in the saddle in the last year nearly. Rose is getting pretty good at the jaw flexions and is chewing nicely quite a bit i noticed in the video. she is still having some trouble with the lateral poll flex to the left, and you can see it a couple times in the birds eye view where she tips her nose to the left and sticks her under jaw to the left rather than turning her forehead to the left. tisk tisk. we are getting better. let me tell ya....that was hard holding the camera under my two chins....lots of editing where the camera was caught by my 'cleavage"....but i think over all she is bent nicely, except where i was holding the reins in one hand and the camera in the other. see ya'all next weekend. gonna go do lots of research on french classical dressage this week.

Savvy On
Michelle

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Classical Dressage day 3 progress

Hell's bells and the bee's knees.....this is pretty dang easy this French Classical Dressage stuff.  Well, not THAT easy...but ya....this is pretty easy.  Maybe my background with dressage and parelli have made this an easy transition, or maybe it really is just that easy....I don't know, but after watching Phillipe Karl's dvd yesterday and again today before riding, having this clear picture in my mind of EXACTLY what I should do, it was pretty easy.  Now I am not saying we have mastered anything by any stretch of the imagination here, but what I am getting at is the YEARS it took me to get to a great place where both Snookie and I had not only a good understanding of the basics, but also to be able to execute them with some form of success.  With this approach, on a OLL4/FSL2 horse, I can't believe how well she is doing in the jaw mobilization.  It honestly is blowing my mind. I believe a good portion of it is my great timing (that i have learned over years of study, still could be way better.) is one of the reasons, and maybe her understanding of pressure/release as well.  And maybe the other half is something to do with it feeling better to have a jaw that is mobile rather than locked.  All these years hearing the term "jaw flexions" gave me one very specific understanding of jaw.  The way Phillip Karl explains it using the term "jaw mobilization"...it gives me a whole new understanding.  Heck, maybe jaw flexions and jaw mobilization are in fact two totally separate things, maybe even a german vs french thing, or maybe just my understanding....i don't know.  All I know is that I get it, i get this, and my horse gets it....and we got it in 2 sessions. I would say in a few more sessions we should have it going good most of the time as well.  She is getting the hang of the poll flexions, but you are only suppose to ask for those after the jaw is mobilized, and lets face it....I am not that "back" as far as my coordination, timing and balance is concerned to put all this together at every moment in every movement.  Not yet, and I am sure not for some time to come.  The good news is that today we also worked on doing figure 8's while doing pirouette's and shoulder in's.  Those were hard, the shoulder in more so.  I think all those years of sideways, turns on the FQ/HQ kinda ruined the 'forward' while doing them.  So for now we are not doing anything that is also not in some fashion...'going forward'.

And the really cool part is that I am having no issues catching her, I do not tie her to saddle her, I have been putting the bridle on prior to the saddle and using the outside rein to stop her from turning to bite me while girthing up....which by the way, using this technique has all but stopped the reaching around to bite me.  I also am not tying her to unsaddle her and she is staying with me when done, as opposed to running off with a high pitched squeal (the tel-tale sign she was not a fan of what ever we did that day).  Woo Hoo!

Savvy On
Michelle

Muscle vs Mindfullness

So I watched my lame little video.....looked at the title i gave it...'back in the saddle'......thinking.....but my A$$ has been in the saddle over the last 4ys.....what makes it different this time?  truth be told, I have not done anything 'dressagy' for probably 13ys.  just been starting my rescues and green beans....

during that time i have been doing parelli, be it my intial "this is crap, gonna prove it wont work with dressage" to "i'm gonna be a PP"  to "something is wrong gotta bail".  with the car accident, my inferior skills upon my return, my horse hating me and life in general.....i have been on this journey for the last year n half.....since my whole OLL3 audition debacle.....and have noticed many times I thought i had 'figured it out'.

Many times I have had these BFO's....that in retrospect were only mini bfo's.  but i think i have it now....I think I finally found the missing piece....or maybe just figured out how all the missing pieces i have found in the last year...have finally completed some cosmic kharmic picture.

a picture that shows me the death grip i had on what ever it was i was holding on to so tightly.....that it took something pretty big to get my attention.  Maybe I needed that smack to my leg to force me let go with the last finger i had gripping on for dear life.

so i recently watched Mark Rashids dvd "developing sofness in the rider".....and just as his books have given me deep spiritual revelations, his words are so profound to me and this dvd was no different.

he talked about our minds needing to be like still water in a pond, so the landscape around it can be mirrored perfectly in the water.....and if you throw stones in the water....the ripples distort the picture.  and just as in life....chaos in your mind distorts your perceptions of people places and things around you.  or something like that....

so my friend and i have been talking about his muscle vs mindfulness concepts nearly every day for the last week about nearly every aspect of our lives.....and then.....I rode.

so here i sit, watching my little lame dressage video....and it hit me....for the first time in 13ys....i saw a glimpse of ME....and realized i have not seen her in a long time.  i saw the soft me, the mindful me, the peaceful me, the get in harmony and help my horse move right me, the dressage me that i never thought i would see again....

unfortunately i saw the FAT me too....but....i guess you cant have your cake and eat it too.....oh wait...that's how i GOT fat.....so i take that back....i guess you can have your cake and your husbands cake and your kids cake...and eat them all in one sitting while crying in your cereal :roll:

i noticed in this last ride, all the fear, judgement, assumptions, ridicule, self loathing, hatred, pain, and worst of all the ANGER....were gone.  i was at peace with myself, and my horse and i danced.  sure it wasn't perfect....not even by a million to one long shot.....but it was ME and i liked what i saw

it wasn't the me that everyone else told me i had to be, the me that everyone expected me to be, the me I thought everyone else wanted me to be.....I was

ME.....and I was pretty dam OK with it.  I cleared the clutter from my head and followed my own set of rules, tuned everything else out.....and listened to my horse.  Instead of 'upping my leadership' and using muscle (not physical rather mental) and i used my intuition and let nature guide me.  i didn't fight muscle with more muscle....I simply redirected the energy using my mindfulness and we danced.

In that lame little dressage video i also saw something else.....HOPE
Hope for the future....that I do have one and it does include dressage....MY dressage......Rose's dressage.....Nature's dressage and

we will dance again. :wink:

When Pigs Fly

I looked out my window and saw pigs flying and the weather lady said it was indeed a cold day in hell.  It must be if I am doing French Classical Dressage.  Something in my youth, my narrow minded German Classical Dressage Brain said I would never do, ya know.....'when pigs fly or when it is a cold day in hell'.  Ya.....so that day has come, and no one is more shocked than I am.  I currently just do not have the funds for in depth research of this method, to purchase the literature of masters long since dead, or current masters, only to find out they are of the German method.  My library is already a vast one in the German Style.

As I google this, I am finding it difficult to even know where to start.  Much of the literature is still written in the native language of the masters such as French, which of course I cannot speak, let alone read.  I have conceded to reading knowledgeable scholars interpretations, written on forums, blogs and websites along with the few dvd's I have found from Phillipe Karl, Craig Stevens, Jean-Claude Racinet and Dominique Barbier.  So if anyone knows of any produced French style dvd's and books from anyone other than the above authors.... in "english".....PLEASE share with me who they are.

What I am not looking for, at least at this point, is a natural horsemanship interpretation of the subject matter.  I am looking for the Classical Dressage.  I am learning that Dorrance, Parelli and Anderson and the like have for better or worse, a foundation in this style.  But it is their own interpretation as it relates to COW work and the vaquero style.  Like I said, for better or worse, I am learning there is alot that is misinterpreted and or applied incorrectly, and at this point, it just isn't what I am looking for. I want the info from a master artist, not the guy who tries to copy him and fails near miserably, while attempting to manipulate this information to his own end means. Straight from the horses mouth, not the jockey's.

If you would have asked me 20ys or even 2 weeks ago if I ever thought I would be doing this.....lordy the eyes would have been rolling for sure.  But here I am, seeing that it can be learned, easily, even by ME!

Now that I have made my request, let me tell y'all, "long time no see".  I went from not really being online because I was out have a blast with my horse, to not being online due to being a couch jockey from bustin up my knee pretty good and having surgery.  During my time on my back, I thought about a dvd i watched a while back, regarding a "second manner" boucher, which is of course french, and it has been stewing in the back of my mind.  the only thing that caused me to give it a second thought, is the fact that I am limited to walk only on my horse for a while, now that i am back in the saddle.  the french style seemed much more 'do-able" in my current condition since every thing starts at the halt and then walk and so forth.  I didn't have much to go on my first two rides, then I got Phillipe Karls dvd friday and watched it.  OMG....lightbulbs were going off like fireworks, and after only two rides, Rose and I totally "get it" and I wish I woulda done this sooner.

So here I am, spending my non saddle time this weekend, reading dressage forums seeking more info to get an even better understanding of the method.  But so far, there is nothing I don't understand or disagree with.  Not a sentence I ever thought would leave my lips for sure.

This is me, eating crow pie.

Classical Dressage day 1...video

Shoulders in, leg yields, turns on HQ/FQ....I really wanted to have a 'before' video....something to compare things to when the winter is over, and I have spent the cold months......working on WALK. The basic classical principles I am adhering to at this point are.....Poll is the highest point, stay straight, keep forward momentum all with light contact. Being that I am restricted to walk for a while....and walk is the easiest gait to screw up.....I don't want to add the pressure of being on the bit. for all intents and purposes....Rose only has the equivelent of 30-60 days under saddle.....spread over quite a number of years, and I have only had the bit in her mouth @ 10 times. So it would be REALLY easy to cause her to resent the bit, lose impulson, over bend her neck and have c2-3 be the highest point, lose purity of the gaits and get sour to being riden....so for now....poll high, forward and straight on light contact is my only requirements. If things go well, I will play with inside leg to outside rein.....

One thing I noticed watching the video back is how much and how easy it was to get going with the shoulder ins and leg yields with contact. I struggled for YEARS with Snookie to get her to understand how to move her hind end. she found shoulder in easier...but still it was years before i learned how to do it....and with Rose, this was a breeze.....so easy....we over did it and got 4 tracks instead of 3. Which is a suppling excersize too, so i am not going to complain. Again, todays only pain was putting my sock on.

Savvy On
Michelle

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Lyrics to the first song in the video...which I think are so fitting and the reason i chose it.

"Tangled Up In You"
by Staind


You're my world
The shelter from the rain
You're the pills
That take away my pain

You're the light
That helps me find my way
You're the words
When I have nothing to say

And in this world
Where nothing else is true
Here I am
Still tangled up in you

You're the fire
That warms me when i'm cold
You're the hand
I have to hold as I grow old

You're the shore
When I am lost at sea
You're the only thing
That I like about me

How long has it been
Since this storyline began
And I hope it never ends
And goes like this forever

In this world
Where nothing else is true
Here I am
Still tangled up in you

I can RIDE again!!!!

Well it has been 6 weeks since my knee injury, and 3 weeks, I think, since my surgery. I have been good, and stayed off my horse, problem is.... It has thrown me mentally back to my post car accident state of mind, and for the last two days I have found myself finding distractions or letting distractions find me.... In efforts to avoid my horse all together. So I laid in bed this morning, and decided I would be proactive from the second I got my undies on. Instead of following those w sweat pants.... I put my breeches on.... One less thing to "avoid" to help me "avoid" the thing I am obviously subconsciously "avoiding". That was step one. Step two was to claim it to all of you to help hold myself accountable to my promise. Now I just have to wait for them to finish eating. Step 3 will be to let the horses loose in the yard so they will be in my face, then all I will have to do is make the long journey in my mind to actually do this. 

the whole 'move closer stay longer' is the only thing that got me off the couch years ago....but mine is an uncommon and completely irrational fear, though just as debilitating as rational fears. i suffer from a fear of failure. I myself think it is the most ridiculous thing ever, which is what made it so hard to 'diagnose'....'come to grips with' and 'get over' the first time around. the whole process took almost a year, and included every horse i could get my hands on....other than my L4 horse. I had to travel WAY outside parelli to get the answers to having a relationship again with my wonderful rose....yet we still have some issues we are overcoming. So, I knew even with my knee and worries about that.....it wasn't about that at all. I needed to just do it, or I was headed for a serious downward tailspin that would be devastatingly hard to get out of. for pete sakes, I was JUST starting ride again (riding for a whopping whole 2 months) after 3ys off from my car accident, taking care of my mother, getting over this fear of failure thing, yada yada...... I REALLY could not let this current injury put me back there.....nope, not again....ever again. 

So THERE.... I said it..... Now I am going to do it!..........
..................


7 or so hours later.......


.......... I did it!  ............ 

Good news....riding didn't hurt. was able to get on from trailer tirewell on right side, and dismount from left side. It was horribly painful to put my sock on,  close enough to impossible to never want to try that again myself....and putting my boot on was slightly better.  

today was day one of playing with true contact, and playing with lateral work. We had several really good shoulder in's and some really nice turns on the fq/hq's, got some ok leg yeilds, and one or two sufficient haunches in. All this based soley on it being day one....nothing I would ever want it to look like after we have really spent some time playing with it. then i took out the camera....and true to my past....  it went to hell in a handbasket in no time flat  But.....I came away with re-affirming a querry of mine.....that of which i will no longer be riding with the fluidity reins. it gave me false sense of contact and weight in my hands and thus my timing was off a bit, and it was making my releases to abrupt....for me... and was making it harder to help rose in the way that I want things to be. but that was not to bad....our worst problem was her not listening to my injured leg very well, if she decided to at all. CS to the rescue....ended on a great note of being very light to the leg....  

the best news of all.....my fear of the whole bucking thing(my pre car accident fears)......is 100% gone....I didn't have ANY anxiety during the whole tacking up process....and didn't have to go thru my normal pre ride ritual of cigarettes and breathing exercises....woo hooo     lets see here.....I got that fear with Jueli the bucking rescue.....that was .....hmmm.....GOOD LORD......7-8 YEARS ago......and it is FINALLY gone! whew! Really over shadows how ENORMOUS I look in the pics....ugh!


Yeah Me!


Savvy On
Michelle

Day light savings???...WTH??

Last night I was thinking about daylight savings time and wondering……


Who the heck came up with it?

Who the heck does it benefit?

And where is the piggy bank that they save all this time in?

I stopped at local community K-mart near where I work, which btw is in the worst neighborhood in the worst town in usa. Stockton, where I work, has more crime per capita than New York. A local pizza delivery guy was killed in broad daylight just outside our building at quitting time. And we just had a drive by a few months ago, just a few blocks from here. So as I ran into k-mart quickly for cat food, I hoped I would make it back out before the sunlight was replaced by complete darkness, and I stood in line for what seemed like an eternity as the cashier moved slower than a snail, I pondered this whole daylight savings thing and decided to google it, as it does me and my horsemanship little good.

Appears that it is not the ‘saving’ time frame that I don’t like…it is the ‘standard’ time that gets me. Apparently Benjamin Franklin invented this idea….to allow for us to enjoy more of the sunny summer evenings with an extra hour. Trouble is….going back is no fun at all. While I appreciate the sunlight to feed my horses in the morning during the winter months…..for all intents and purposes, I would prefer a little sunlit evening time to enjoy myself….rather than be stuck in an office all day while the warmth gets used up by all those people NOT stuck in an office. Anyways, I found a whole lot of history and info on daylight saving time. All the trouble it has caused and people it has helped, money wasted and saved, hundreds of thousands of barrels of oil saved, people killed, riots held, wars started and ended…..good lord, seems I am not the only to find it controversial for my life. I guess, if it has been around that long, has caused that much harm and good….who am I too complain…..and who would listen anyways.

Guess I will go play with my horse in the dark

Savvy On
Michelle

Baggage from the past, apprehension about the future

I started this post with typing just the title.  At the time, I had something on my mind....what it was.....now I cannot remember.  That happens more and more as you get older.  I am getting close to a milestone on my blog....any dang day now.  Anyways, I think it had something to do with my journey and being 'stuck'....yet again.  Feeling a bit lost maybe...not really sure. 

I was scheduled to ride in a Mark Rashid clinic this week. But finances were tight and the closer it got the more I realized I didn’t want to ride in it. I really respect and admire Mark as a writer and a horseman. But when I met him in person, I felt so inferior I could hardly breathe. I don’t know why, but it appears I am intimidated by men Well, I do know why, but that is just “baggage from my past”. . I did not get this feeling when I met Linda, nor when I have met any other well known WOMAN, so I don’t think it is the notoriety. Regardless I felt it was silly to spend so much money for nothing. I would be a ball of nerves, probably not hear over half of what he says, and ultimately learn ZILCH. So, knowing there were other people on the waiting list, who would just love my spot….I backed out. I think this may have been what I typed the title for….a month ago before I got hurt.



I have quite a few posts, laying in wait to be completed…but at least there are words typed in them to help me remember what my ‘thought’ was….and where I was going with it. Here…nothing! Maybe I was just going to talk about how we shouldn’t let our baggage from the past….or our apprehension about the future……chain us to one spot. I am trying to remember if it was a good and inspirational moment about how I felt liberated....or if it was a sad and somber one feeling lonely and stuck.  I just sit here BLANK…..staring……nothing but BLANK……Since I cannot remember where I was gonna go with this….let me just take you to where it took me……I am certainly melancholy lately….more than a few things to bog down the heart…..for some reason I thought of this quote…..so I just googled it. So, let me just share it with you and be done with this post. I think there are some good things in here for me to ponder….she was a wise woman for sure……..


“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.


If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.


If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.


If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.


The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.


Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.


For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”


― Mother Teresa

For now, I am going to concentrate on completing my 'draft mode' posts, get them published and then move on to milestone.....I have about 10 drafed posts, nearly finished....so let me get to gettin 'er done.

Savvy On
Michelle

Days without a learn burn…..36

Well, until a month ago…..I had racked up quite a good number of days since I had any kind of horse related injury, so long ago that I can’t even remember what/when it was…….but…..here I sit with a jacked up knee. Things are better today than a month ago for sure, but I can’t believe it has already been a month. Time seems to really have flown by without me, and we rolled the clocks back this last weekend. October is always the month in which all horse enthusiasts get in their last minute fun before the curtain closes on yet another season of horsing around. This week it will be pitch black when I get home from work, so weekdays will not be optimal for play time. I had surgery on my knee 2 weeks ago, but not much got fixed. They thought it was one thing, that would easily be fixed laproscopically……but got in there and found something all together different……that will require a cadaver donor to fix. I am going to pass on that for now……and hope I can return to somewhat normal activities with a knee brace…..and then just sit it out, wait and hope for the best. I can at least straighten my leg now, but the bending is going so slowly.  I am at a 90* bend at best.....good news is.....riding only requires a 112* to a 135* bend.  I rode a barrel at a recent playday, and having something between my legs didn't seem to hurt, so that is a plus as well.  Biggest plus is that Rose is generally a good girl undersaddle so no glaring issues with that either.

So what did I do to jack up my knee you ask?  Well....I was helping a friend with a wild colt.  They could not touch him, much less halter him....so I went over to help her out.  All was going good, I was just a minute or two from being done.....and I had done a mighty fine job of it too, if I do say so myself. The whole thing from start to finish, took less than two hours.  I was haltering him and touching him well, approach was good, I got fly spray on him....and was giving the final 2 squirts when he turned his haunches toward me and bumped me.  I was just too slow to get out of the way and my knee whent the wrong way.  I flew through the air trying to get my feet under me and as I landed my knee went the other way!  Tore the ACL ligament 90%.  As I lay there in a pile of shit, I thought to myself.....the Moral of the story is......be carefull when you toot your own horn....you just may choke on it while you are tooting!

I havn't been on line much, very little to be exact, been riding the green fluffy couch for a month....watching my son hog up the computer to his hearts content!

Savvy On
Michelle

The Tribe has Spoken

Ocassionaly I am moved to write about something other than horses when the emotion causes inspiration.  So here is...my non horse thoughts....

As I sit and watch my country and more importantly my state, fall apart, I stare across my desk at the welfare office into the teary eyes of a hard working woman accustomed to a 6 figure income, barely surviving the last 6 months on her $1800mo unemployment that just ran out…… having just been told by us…..we can only give her $600 a month. My job for the day was to tell her, for that $600 per month she will need to do 32hrs a week of community service, or we will take the money away. Unlike our most of our other clients, who have never had a job, has not graduated high school much less college, and is a 4th generation welfare client……we cannot send someone with an AA in marketing to school, and I explained that she should be prepared to work somewhere equivalent to fast food, being that for some reason no company in her field of expertise will hire her. After a long talk about the reality of her hitting rock bottom, I mentioned her icy exterior and asked her if she was aware, despite being uncomfortable with her surroundings, that she was very short with me and seemed to have a large chip on her shoulder.




I know that many times, we as humans, are just unaware how transparent we can be, and that maybe she was giving off this kind of energy in interviews. As we talked, her face started to soften, and between her fighting back the tears and letting them flow, her eyes changed from steel to velvet. I told her she should consider walking away from her home and relocating if there was a job anywhere in her field elsewhere, as she is likely going to lose the home anyways, and that there is a glimmer of hope to save her home and rent it out, IF she can find a job else where. I tell ya, there is nothing like the cold hard slap of reality you get at the welfare office, no matter what side of the desk you sit at. I’m sure it felt to her as if she was living in one of those horror movies, in some alternate reality world, hoping for Alfred Hitchcock to come around the corner and end the show. But he didn’t, it was just me. I have calloused to it over the last few years, but am far from having lost all empathy. I had to harden for the sake of my own mental survival as I was having panic and anxiety attacks with each interview I completed with folks like her. Basically because it just hits way to close to home. My husband and I live paycheck to paycheck….and we are just one lost paycheck away from it being us on the other side of my desk.

A little while after this interview, I read an email from my uncle who is a Vietnam vet, and chain mails conspiracy theories daily to his entire contact list. Usually I just read and delete. Some are cartoons of our president, others honoring the fallen heroes, and some are warnings of the doom gloom that is about to befall us should our government continue on the his path. Today was no different, but this time I could feel the warning vibrate on the strings of my inner fear guitar. Then my heart jumped in like the base drum in a marching band. My God….have we become a socialist country without even knowing it? Are we really that close to no longer being the Alpha Country? Financially my husband and I are always hanging on by a fine thread…..and there is never an end in sight. My thoughts raced to all the years of war between our country’s political parties, who is right, who can save us…yada yada yada……and then it hit me.

What if we woke up tomorrow without a government. None of any kind. No one to siphon half my paycheck. No one to pay the fire department, police or schools. No one to hand out welfare checks or food stamps. No one to bail out banks and auto makers, who continue to make millions and millions in profits annually. What if we all, as a nation, had to live like they do on survivor. Obviously not on a paradise island, but right here where we already live…..where ever that may be. Would life, could life, be just like survivor. Either pull your weight and contribute to the good of your local society or be voted out at tribal council. Just like survivor, it would not be just a physical game, where only the strong well physiqued win in the end….it would also be a place where those who take care of camp, find food, have good social skills or a cunning and vindictive streak able to make power moves to either cut the dead weight or dethrone the beautiful bullies and make a giant shift of power in your own favor. But always the overall goal is the survival of all members of the tribe, to keep the tribe strong so that you could win battles with other tribes when there is some kind of dispute. If you didn’t like your tribe, you could leave and find a new tribe that has similar goals to your own. You would have to learn to fit in, in every way, in order to survive. Lets face it, we all have different things to offer a tribe, and few can do everything, so diversity is a must for survival, and there really would be a place for each of us to contribute. Would we then be socialists? Socialists with a twist….the twist….no government control or regime to make the rules up for us. It would literally be up to us to survive. Trading things with other members of the tribe, and with other tribes. Is this not how our country began in the first place? The only promise we were given in the beginning was the right and freedom to “pursue” happiness. Are the states really much different than a bunch of large tribes anyways? Where did we all go so wrong and can we ever fix it? I certainly am tired of pulling my weight, doing my fair share, and being forced to give it up for someone who is not. I would rather it be of my own choice to whom I my weight will carry. Let me pick and choose to whom the burdens I bear will benefit. Let me choose who will be invited into my tribe. Let us all sit down and work out who will be responsible for what. Who will farm, who will heal, who will fight fires, who will transport and who will entertain. We all can’t just lay around and be lazy.

What ever happened to true individual freedom, responsibility and contribution and reward for a hard days work. I stare in shock at my annual federal tax bill and weep for lost spoils. How on earth, does someone who makes as much money as my husband and I do, live the good life that we have worked hard for, when so much of it is taken away from us before we ever see the cold hard cash in our hands. We don’t live an extravagant life style, we do have a few toys, but honestly…..we make too much money to be living this poorly. And why is that? Why do I literally have to pay the way for someone that didn’t earn it. Won’t earn it. Refuses to earn it. They contributed NOTHING to my tribe, nothing more than suck the life blood right out of it, so that we all can be equal. Equally poor that is. I think that we the tribe should be allowed to vote them off. Let them request to join another tribe, the tribe that voted to allow those that don’t contribute, to live off those that do. Why not a tribe made up of only the slackers and those that voted to pay for them. Let them and them alone work hard to plow the fields, plant the fields, water the fields, harvest the fields and then hand their produce over to those who didn’t even have the courtesy to keep them company while they worked so hard. Not a drop of sweat shed from their brow, yet their hands and belly’s full from the rewards. Not so easy to do, when it is your hands that are actually dirty from hard work, much harder than sitting in a comfy chair at the capital, where the only sweat is that of your hands as you sign yet another law, bill or budget to further reduce the possibility of me actually enjoying the rewards of my hard work. Sounds to me like the only ones around here right now to out wit, out last, out play……are the people at the top. We need to have a secret meeting under the banana bush and vote this moron OUT of our tribe. That is what they call a power play blind side in survivor land. These are the only words I long to hear. Obama….grab your torch, the tribe has spoken, it’s time for you to go.

Hope to see you at Tribal Council
Savvy On
Michelle

Feeling a little blue today....

I came across this old post that I never published, it was still in draft mode.  Boy...I'm surprised I didn't slit my wrists that day!...........

As I was getting dressed for work this morning, my mind was realing, as it always does, thinking of 1000 things at once.  Maybe if I had just been thinking of finding my blutooth, instead of everything else, I would not have searched the house 3x over to no avail.  But there I stood, in between jamies and work clothes, and caught a glimps of myself in my closet mirror (12ft long, kinda hard not to) as I was having a conversation with someone else in my head, and it dawned on me.....that despite my best intentions and efforts....I will never be ME again.  The 'me' I have been searching for now for 3ys.  Well, OK....yes I 'could', but I am not sure I could handle the sacrifices I would have to make.  Basically, I would need to give up all but one of my horses, so I could board again, to have daily access to good footing.  That also in turn, means more time away from home.....and who would it be that I keep.  Snookie cannot be re-homed at her age, and will not do well alone, even if i kept her and boarded one other.  It is kinda like trying to decide which of your kids you will shove out the door.  The reality of my property is just depressing. I feel like I have known this all along.  Seems like I have.  But it really hit me this morning. HARD.  So what do I do now.  I am not giving up, that's for sure.  But clearly I need a different goal.  This is something that I have also felt all along that I had.  And maybe I did.  There was an opening in the Mark Rashid clinic in april, I was first on the wait list.  but I dont have the $$ right now for a clinic, and will have to wait until Nov for my planned clinic with him.  But I soooo need it right NOW.  I am thinking of what I can do in my 'arena', to make it honestly usable for more than just playing around. Something that I can feel good about asking my horses to work in.  I think that has been a major set back, that I will not ask my horses to work on bad footing.  Sucks enough that it is small, it should at least be proper for good biomechanics.

Savvy On
Michelle