"A horse is like a mirror, and it's reflecting what and who you are."

This is just a little diary of my horse life. I teach natural horsemanship and dressage. I am currently working on getting back to L4 Parelli after a car accident and surgery.

I suffered from a fear of failure, as things had not gone according to planned after my time off from my injuries. It had been an paralyzing disability (fear) but my healing is coming along nicely, and I hope to pass my level 4 before the end of 2011.

I don't know where I am going, but I am NOT lost!

I am now reviewing dvd's and books, and blogging my reviews. The link on the left in the categories (DVD Clinician Reviews)will take you straight to it. You will find links to the websites of all dvd clinicians I review and they are located on the left hand side bottom of page of the page. None of the clinicians or trainers I am reviewing, sponsor, endorse or authorize this site. For more info about them please click on thier link.

I hope you enjoy!

Savvy On,

I will be giving Savvy Star Ratings based soley on my opinion of it's value to a parelli student as such

***** Must own

**** Must watch

*** Worth watching, but you won't die without it

** Eh' take it with a grain of salt, you will have to filter alot

* OK, but there is better stuff out there to spend your time and money on

0 stars....skip it, it just isn't worth your time.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Feeling a little blue today....

I came across this old post that I never published, it was still in draft mode.  Boy...I'm surprised I didn't slit my wrists that day!...........

As I was getting dressed for work this morning, my mind was realing, as it always does, thinking of 1000 things at once.  Maybe if I had just been thinking of finding my blutooth, instead of everything else, I would not have searched the house 3x over to no avail.  But there I stood, in between jamies and work clothes, and caught a glimps of myself in my closet mirror (12ft long, kinda hard not to) as I was having a conversation with someone else in my head, and it dawned on me.....that despite my best intentions and efforts....I will never be ME again.  The 'me' I have been searching for now for 3ys.  Well, OK....yes I 'could', but I am not sure I could handle the sacrifices I would have to make.  Basically, I would need to give up all but one of my horses, so I could board again, to have daily access to good footing.  That also in turn, means more time away from home.....and who would it be that I keep.  Snookie cannot be re-homed at her age, and will not do well alone, even if i kept her and boarded one other.  It is kinda like trying to decide which of your kids you will shove out the door.  The reality of my property is just depressing. I feel like I have known this all along.  Seems like I have.  But it really hit me this morning. HARD.  So what do I do now.  I am not giving up, that's for sure.  But clearly I need a different goal.  This is something that I have also felt all along that I had.  And maybe I did.  There was an opening in the Mark Rashid clinic in april, I was first on the wait list.  but I dont have the $$ right now for a clinic, and will have to wait until Nov for my planned clinic with him.  But I soooo need it right NOW.  I am thinking of what I can do in my 'arena', to make it honestly usable for more than just playing around. Something that I can feel good about asking my horses to work in.  I think that has been a major set back, that I will not ask my horses to work on bad footing.  Sucks enough that it is small, it should at least be proper for good biomechanics.

Savvy On

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I know I am not perfect.....so be nice!