Where to go from here?

As with all plans in life, there is a series of events that happens along the way to our destination, that causes us to scratch our heads and re-think the situation. Like a plane that takes off from the airport, wind, speed, temperature and pressure continually knock it off course a bit...and if the pilot does not adjust accordingly, he will not arrive at the destination that his passengers have paid for. Sighs. The good news is that some of these events have been a blessing, others not so much. I just taped and submited Online L2. BIG step for me. A small triumph over depression, fear and physical ailments. I have to say, I love the new audition process. I have made more progress in "official" grading than ever before. I suppose it has something to do with being a Gold savvy club member too. As I have never felt before that I could justify spending the money on something like an assessment when it plain wasn't necessary. Now I can just do it, send it in and move on. I also love that it is not structured by tasks, and that each audition (savvy or level) doesn't need to be with the same horse. It gives me more freedom, creativity and time to play with all my horses, as I can concentrate a little here with one horse and a little there with another and then everyone wins. Snookie gets ridden, Rose in Liberty, Miyagi online. I like that! Anyways, it is dark when I get home from work now, Snookie is recovering from some minor injuries, I have these mini's, and it costs money to take my horses to any local arena. Money I just don't have right now. Especially since I have to buy the new levels program when it comes out a special price.So do I concentrate on one savvy at a time, achieving L4 on line, then liberty, then the riding in the spring. Or do I stick with my original plan of following the pathways, one level at a time, until I Officially pass L3 and go from there. Good news is that soccer season is over next weekend after 4 tournament games, and we opted NOT to do basket ball and my husband has got Boy Scouts covered. So even though most of my time is spent in darkness, at least it is mine. I know I have enough space and light to play with the mini's at home. Ochi needs some basic schooling. I guess I could play with her in the evenings for 10-20min. That is something that I CAN do. Play with Miyagi and Rose on the weekends. If weather and my wallet permits, I can go to the arena and tape my freestyle L2. At least I know I can do that one in my sleep on either Snookie or Rose. Lord though I do hate the way look in a saddle right now. Jeans...that's what I need...no breeches! If I time the money and the weather just right, I may even be able to tape my Liberty L3 on the same day with Rose.I don't want to be too goal oriented, thinking only of what I know I am capable of and then the pressure to perform gets to me, fear of failure sets in, and then I sit on the couch and do nothing. I need to remember each day to do what I know can do, no matter how small it may be. Miyagi is working wonders on that whole expectations disaster, so I think I will start on the 45' line with her this weekend. And concentrate on passing L2 with my freestyle. I think if I distract my self with too many other things, I will never do it. So that is it. It is settled. Next stop Freestyle L2.
Thanks for following on THAT journey in my head with me.
Savvy On
Michelle